can anyone just stop this? i wanna run away. i wanna do exactly the same with what i've done before. something's threating me. or it's just me feel that way. i fckin hate this situation damn. if i dont like something then nothing can ever change it! can i just walk away from all of this? damn it. it doesnt feel good. everything seems wrong. i cant stand on it anymore. if i could choose, i would just walk away and leave it all behind. but i cant. i responsible of something here. i know it will happen sooner or later. ive tried my best to cover it up but i dont succeed. i remember how it feels, how it really bothers me. yea, and i feel it again. am waiting for the time when it doesnt bother me so much anymore, but when will that time come? will it? is stop caring the way out? i cant just stop caring and act like nothing happen. somebody needs me, i guess. so i cant just leave and save myself. thats selfish... should i fight this? well well i know i gotta fight this feeling but it never worked out! hmmm i know it will be hurt if i struggle, but they say no pain no gain right? maybe pain changes people, either changes someone to be better or even worse. who knows? or perhaps i just have to believe words "if it's not easy then it will be worth it". but what if it's not? yaa at least ive tried: doing my best for what i really need :)

well, screw this. i cant find any other solution for this problem. ive been in this situation before and i need someone to save me. why cant i fix problems on my own? im trying to fight this. people say the hardest battle you will ever be on is with yourself, and i guess theyre right. i shouldnt make the same mistake twice, but i did. yea i did. and have no idea to fix it. can we just go back to the start? i need to fix a few things in the past so i wont be in this situation right now. $%^(*$@#$%^(;* what should i do nooooww??

And it's happening again. I know exactly how it will end. Damn. Why? Why is this happening for the second time?? I cant say who's right and who's wrong. Well well i guess the blame is on me because the first time is probably a mistake, but if it's happening again for the second time, then it's a choice. And i made a wrong choice. I cant just walk away. I wish i could. But emmm, i dont have any other solution. i gotta make a difference but hoooww? This is sh*t!!!

We never know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and so on and so on. We never know what will change us, how our life could completely change. And we never be ready, but we have to survive. I think... I need to survive now. I'm not ready for this. Really really not. Time flies so fast and i feel left behind. I can't follow. I am also afraid i will lose what i have now. That feeling bothers me. I put something on some place and now i regret it. Damn. Wtf is happening to me? Alright, this year is tough enough :)

I dont know where to start. i dont know how to say it. what i know is i feel empty. i feel like i dont belong here. im a dead man walking. anyone has any solution for me? i cant even describe my feeling. damn. so many things in my head, i just cant say it out loud. i wish someone could hear my silent scream. i need a lil help in here. im a lil depressed. i lost control of myself, i dont know who took over. my mind kills me. my heart still feels unsafe. this is the fourth times but i still cant handle it. damn.