So here i am. Trying so hard to fight myself. Something inside me takes control and i cant resist. I know it is not fine to be like this. But i cant control this. Everytime the bad side takes over i always recall my old memories, how suffer i was facing that monster. How hard it was trying to give in everything just for to keep one friend. I know it shouldnt be like this. Its a real life. I cant do whatever i want to do. I cant get whatever i want to get. I have to stay on the track. Stick to how life is supposed to be. I always have a tough battle with myself everytime it comes to those things. Yes i do. And its so hard. Its killing me either. Im trying so hard not to be that monster. I know it must be hard for you, and you could be suffer facing me but trust me, its really hard for me as well. I wish i was different.